{"product_id":"some-people-need-a-hug-around-the-fucking-neck-funny-adult-cow-t-shirt-mabel-pasture-after-dark™-by-pasture-problems-co-™","title":"Some People Need a Hug Around the Fucking Neck — Funny Adult Cow T-Shirt | Mabel | Pasture After Dark™ by Pasture Problems Co.™","description":"\u003ctable\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"1\" style=\"padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"1\" style=\"font-weight: 500; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eXS\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"1\" style=\"font-weight: 500; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eS\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"1\" style=\"font-weight: 500; font-size: 15px; padding: 10px;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eM\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"1\" style=\"font-weight: 500; font-size: 15px; 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font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"5\" style=\"padding: 10px; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"5\" style=\"padding: 10px; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"5\" style=\"padding: 10px; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"5\" style=\"padding: 10px; font-size: 15px; border-top: 1px solid rgb(237, 237, 237); word-break: break-word;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(82, 82, 82);\"\u003e1.50\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSOME PEOPLE NEED A HUG…\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e…around the fucking neck.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI’m a very affectionate person.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt’s just that the type of affection I’m prepared to offer depends entirely on how much you’ve irritated me.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSome people get a normal hug.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSome people get a smile and a polite nod.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd some people make me want to wrap my arms around their fucking neck and hold on until I feel better.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMabel understands.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis one is for those of us who are technically capable of kindness but whose patience occasionally leaves the pasture without notice.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFeaturing Mabel having a drink and looking like she’s already identified tonight’s first volunteer, this \u003cstrong\u003ePasture After Dark\u003c\/strong\u003e™  design is for anyone whose version of “come here, you need a hug” occasionally sounds just a little bit threatening.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE SHIRT\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePrinted on the \u003cstrong\u003eGildan 64000 Softstyle® Unisex T-Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e, a lightweight, soft everyday tee with a classic fit that works for just about everybody.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft, ring-spun cotton feel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLightweight and comfortable for everyday wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClassic unisex fit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrew neckline\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShort sleeves\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in sizes \u003cstrong\u003eXS–5XL, when available\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDesign professionally printed to order\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShirt colors: \u003cstrong\u003eDark Heather, Black, and Purple\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBlack shown as the featured color\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFIT\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is a \u003cstrong\u003eunisex fit\u003c\/strong\u003e. Order your usual size for a classic relaxed fit. Size up if you prefer a roomier or oversized look.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePlease refer to the size chart before ordering for the best fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCARE INSTRUCTIONS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, inside out\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWash with similar colors\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not bleach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not dry clean\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not iron directly over the printed design\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFREE SHIPPING\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFREE standard shipping within the United States.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBecause apparently putting people in a headlock costs extra.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePLEASE NOTE\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEach shirt is \u003cstrong\u003emade to order\u003c\/strong\u003e, so slight variations in print placement, color, and appearance may occur. Shirt colors may also appear slightly different depending on your screen settings and the garment color selected.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMockups are provided to show the design and approximate placement. Please review the size chart, color selection, and product details before ordering.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePasture After Dark\u003c\/strong\u003e™ \u003cstrong\u003eby Pasture Problems Co.\u003c\/strong\u003e™ \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFor those who like their humor a little dirtier after dark.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Pasture Problems Co.™","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":51268593189107,"sku":"27420689118060623382","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Dark Heather Grey","offer_id":51268593221875,"sku":"12459498012192264315","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Purple","offer_id":51268593254643,"sku":"20620724090059784634","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":51268593287411,"sku":"23398629459849137969","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather Grey","offer_id":51268593320179,"sku":"17194433336649370604","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Purple","offer_id":51268593352947,"sku":"84798231029129223320","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":51268593385715,"sku":"15415023422592975771","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather Grey","offer_id":51268593418483,"sku":"10257361950506917022","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Purple","offer_id":51268593451251,"sku":"19289604200451864333","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":51268593484019,"sku":"26308575740054771486","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather Grey","offer_id":51268593516787,"sku":"53705595384064219990","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Purple","offer_id":51268593549555,"sku":"21559142257411648358","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":51268593582323,"sku":"23483941812455050640","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather Grey","offer_id":51268593615091,"sku":"17143424622326571285","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Purple","offer_id":51268593647859,"sku":"10872107913954526506","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":51268593680627,"sku":"28147007530351005094","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather Grey","offer_id":51268593713395,"sku":"22995004310134212042","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Purple","offer_id":51268593746163,"sku":"75572122913891236560","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":51268593778931,"sku":"32477792655350712697","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Dark Heather Grey","offer_id":51268593811699,"sku":"30608395939781697244","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Purple","offer_id":51268593844467,"sku":"24987959724239032504","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Black","offer_id":51268593877235,"sku":"14886172999390322755","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Dark Heather Grey","offer_id":51268593910003,"sku":"88370601550067421618","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL \/ Black","offer_id":51268593942771,"sku":"30582326574351283475","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL \/ Dark Heather Grey","offer_id":51268593975539,"sku":"52736275178217890417","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0854\/0179\/6851\/files\/20260913015040-1f1af158-6665-640c-8ac5-52f93a0b17e3.png?v=1789313622","url":"https:\/\/www.pastureproblems.com\/products\/some-people-need-a-hug-around-the-fucking-neck-funny-adult-cow-t-shirt-mabel-pasture-after-dark%e2%84%a2-by-pasture-problems-co-%e2%84%a2","provider":"Pasture Problems Co.™","version":"1.0","type":"link"}